Yesterday is gone and you can’t change it. It is as a picture: a still image of something that has already happened. And I don’t care how you turn it: to the left, to the right, to the front or to the back. It is the same image and change is not an option. Many people get caught in this horrible habit of living in yesterday. Never fully looking into their past as something they can personally learn from or personally face. In life, we all experience bad things that can take us places we don’t want to go. However it is how we process those experiences that will decide how we continue to live in life.
Have you ever dated someone who seemed so familiar you could not remember where you knew them from but realized they reminded you of your ex-wife, ex-husband or you last 5 boyfriends/girlfriends? I have! A few years ago, me marriage fell and eventually ended up in divorce court. I was so devastated. As a Christian, I didn’t believe in divorce but greater than that I loved my husband and did not want a divorce. However, he felted different and we were in divorce court before I knew it. It took a few years dating men that seemed just like him before I realized I had a serious problem on my hands. I did not really understand it at first but eventually I realize I had not processed this event in my life that it would be a learning experience versus a stumbling block to my present. In my subconscious my dating experience was my second, third, fourth and fifth chance to make my marriage work. After all I had to prove that I was worthy of being loved by my ex-husband. It did not matter that it wasn’t actually him; I just wanted to have another chance at being loved by him. But I was just lying to myself and not living in my present.
I had to face a few pieces of truth to let go of my past:
1. Marriage is not always to death do you part
2. People can grow apart
3. People have a right to happiness
4. I am responsible for my happiness not my ex-husband
5. Divorce is not the end of the world
6. My ex-husband leaving did not make me less than a person
With these new truths and a few new skills and tools, I am living in today and not in my past. Notice I did not talk about a new man or marriage. This is about letting go of your past and living in your present. No matter what we do we can never change the past. All we can do is start again brand new, with new skills, new tools and a new attitude.
Life Advisor Tina